I was in the corporate world before ministry and noticed that friends were not really friends. They were work associates, only. They only needed you today because they needed to advance their salaries or their careers. It’s the same thing in ministry. I have watched capable people get to the “top” wherever that is, and notice that something came along that separated them from so-called friendships. The interesting thing is, they were never friendships, so you don’t really lose anything. They were “ministry acquaintances.” They care about you as long as you can do something for them and as long as you don’t step on their turf. You quickly find out that real friendships are those that love, care, and are concerned about you, regardless of your title! The sadder part is, you can’t really find that out without the “fire,” or desperation in your life. That’s why Romans 8:28 is always in effect….regardless of how bad it gets, there is always a good side.
We have found this to be true even among the laypeople in churches. Friendships tend to be based on proximity and shared responsibilities within the church instead of authentic relationships. Building true friendships is hard work and most people, sometimes ourselves included, find it difficult to commit to that level of commitment and intensity. When it isn’t modeled by the church leadership from the top down, it isn’t hard to believe that the body doesn’t know how to genuinely befriend one another.